My Wish For You
My wish for you is to have the
courage to journey within
to the heart of your
Like Life… It’s Messy
For thirty years as a textile artist, I carefully applied melted beeswax to cloth then dyed it with rich colors in a mysterious process called batik.
Life’s Eternal Realms of Mystery
Up until you’re about seven years old, you’re like a sponge… soaking up everything around you. You’re learning what it is to be a person within the context of your family, community and culture. Your brain is set in the delta, then theta wavelengths… the same ones used in hypnosis.
You don’t have the ability yet to analyze or often even make sense of what happens to you.
You do know how you feel though.
And when you feel hurt … made fun of, told you’re stupid, you don’t deserve that, or we can’t afford that … the pain, the hurt sinks down into your subconscious mind where you cover it over with your own layer of hot wax. You can still feel the story but it’s distorted, protected.
Later something else happens and triggers that very same hurt. You quickly add another layer of hot wax over the first, repairing any cracks that might have formed. With each layer you repeat a slightly different version of your first story … “see I told you I’m just not creative” … “nobody wants to hear what I have to say.”
Your true self’s colors are still there underneath. But they’re hiding. When you hold yourself up to the light to see who you are, it seems like those are your true colors. You forgot you’re looking at them through a layer of wax.
There’s a crack in the wax … in the wall you’ve built around your self that you’ve patched over and over. Your smiles are stiffer. The pain deeper. To the outside world everything looks pretty good. To your inside world, the cracks in the walls are starting to show. The poisoned pain of feeling worthless … unworthy … undeserving is getting impossible to hide.
You’re confused. Where did this come from? You didn’t even know you had a wall around your heart. It seems like suddenly this well of fear … of frustration … of not knowing what to do threatens to drown you.
This Is Good News
Really GOOD NEWS!
It’s time to let go of your resist – the wax. Like the batik, you can’t see your true colors until you boil off the wax.
The crazy thing is that the Self you fear you truly are, is the one with all the layers of wax still on! You have no idea what your beautiful colors are until the wax is released.
There is a huge gap between the self you show the world …
and the Self you really are.
And in this gap lies the mystery … Your Own True Self waiting for you to come talk with her, connect with her, love her.
My wish for you is to have the courage to journey within
to the heart of your deepest mystery.
I’d be honored to be your guide.